too early in the morning delirious ramblings

i was so tired
i was giddy
i actually slept on the toilet at work
nodding off all day
cant wait to go home and go to bed
bed bed bed
Brad conked out before me
then i had "stuff to do"
or so i thought
let the dog out
got to bed by 9pm
still good
not as early as i was thinking
but still good
light sleep
not deep and exhausted like it should be
wake up to roll over too much
at 1am dreaming
dreaming of my moms house and my first dog
its 9 or 10 o'clock
but is it pm or am....
im not sure
but its dark
so why am i questioning it in my dream?
who knows...
its windy
i let him out
i hand feed him for some reason
then i wake up for real
have to pee and so does Goli
we go downstairs
i let him out
he pees
i pee
now im awake from bare feet on cold tile floor
go to computer
2am ready to go back to bed
dog is pushing me
acting like a pee monster again
go back downstairs
let him out again
give him another treat for doing it outside rather than in my house
its peanut butter jelly time for me
2:15
good sandwich
watching dog go downstairs
what is he doing
i wonder
but dont want to know so much as to go down and check
imagine him shitting on my floor
i could fall asleep at my desk earlier today
i am so pissed
i should be in a dead dead sleep!!!
DEAD I TELL YOU!!!
My alarm goes off in 3 1/2 hours.
im gonna try to go back to bed
yesterday sucked
it was a step backwards
i pushed myself too hard the day before...
feeling motivated by my good news
i thought pushing myself would help me get going
no
it just made me more tired
i called my general dr yesterday after work
he will call me today
i was hoping to be a little further along by now
gonna ask him if there is anything he can give me to help me function
im still having trouble walking
my calves give out right away
im pushing my legs out from under myself until my feet are just flopping along
flop flop flop
oh weekend...where art thou?