I had a rough but good conversation with Brad at lunch.

It's tough to put it all into words.
But I felt he wasn't communicating enough with me and had trouble understanding where his head was at. I had trouble seeing how he felt about me. I wanted reassurance. I wanted to hear that he worries about me, feels protective of me, how much he loves me.
Not that he doesnt say those things.
But I think I just been off in my own head so much lately, and being selfish I couldnt see it.
I know he cares and loves me. But he doesnt get all upset and worried about me like other people do.

But the reason is...he does it for me.
He doesnt want to worry me, he wants me in a good state of mind.
It doesn't mean that he cares or loves me any less.
So he does things, to show me in actions his feelings for me.
And sometimes I can just be so self absorbed I don't always see it.
I see it individually, and I say thanks.
But I dont see it big picture wise....that he did it for me, to help out, that he does know how I am feeling and how run down I am.

I know my questioning this really hurt him, and was hard.
But it helped me understand where he was coming from, that he does think these things through, and how off into my own problems I failed to fully appreciate it.
I feel closer to him getting through these rough kinds of conversations.
They are hard. But when we both make the effort to talk these things through and pursue it instead of letting it just fester, it makes us so much closer.

Brad you are truly my best friend.
And I love you so much.
I hate having to say anything that ever hurts you and thank you so much for chugging through it with me.
Getting through rough spots like this, means so much to me.
It humbles me.
And brings us even closer.

I love you.