Wild day.

It started out by me waking up extra early to go get Brad breakfast to make up with him in sorts. Not that we were in a fight, but just mopey and off a little.
WHITE CASTLE!! :)

I called the Dr. when I got to work.....
I have another small lump on the side of my neck. Small, hard, doesnt hurt....just like the last one. Im trying to remain calm and not become a hypocondriac.....
But whenever it was a lymph node...it hurt....this doesnt, its just there.

And I have been so tired. I cant even begin to express. And I feel like such a baby its embarrassing. Im supposed to be the rough tough cream puff....not some pussy!!!
"How bad is it?"
Its so bad....that my jaw gets tired from just chewing a sandwich.
Yes... I am serious.
Have you ever heard of such a thing?
CRAZY TALK RIGHT???

I walk a block and then want to sit down.
My back hurts, my legs hurts, everything hurts and gives out on me.
I just cannot express it enough.
I mentioned it to Brad and a few people, but people say they are tired and achy all the time. Thats like talking about the weather.
Everything is a hassle for me to do. My head is not all together.
I have had this cold for 3 weeks now.
I thought maybe it just was the cold.
But then things seem to be getting worse and then that lump today!
GAH!!!

He called me back 2 minutes before 5pm.
Seems when I went off the medication to be prepared for this iodine thing they are gonna do, they are supposed to monitor my blood at least weekly, to check my levels of "stuff". This was news to me. So a lot of this is from having no thyroid hormones for a month now, and I have no idea what exactly it is or has done to my body.
He said his secretary will call me on Monday and probably schedule me in on Monday for blood work and then we will go from there. He asked me about some "series" again I didnt know what he was talking about...so there is some other thing I was supposed to be scheduled for. He said his office should had scheduled it based on my charts.
I told him about the lump, and he wants to look at that too.

Oh and I havent even mentioned....because I am so disgusting right now...that thats not all!!
I have "abnormal cells" also showing up in my cervix now! Already had the 2nd pap done and they will probably want to do a biopsy on that too.

I have been making up reasons and excuses to eat inside or very close to my building when having lunch with other people...including Brad.
I cant walk more than just a couple blocks. ITS EMBARRASSING!! So I have just been trying to get around it and not look or sound like an idiot. So when I told Brad all this I just started balling at the train station when I met up with him to go home. Im just so tired and frustrated. And I still dont know ANYTHING except someone will call me and we will figure it out on Monday.

But..good things from today.
-I talked online to a girl in Portugal. It was nice chatting with her, and getting the chance to know her better.

-ITS THE WEEKEND, and I have plans! Going to see my friend Richard at a drag queen pageant tomorrow. He will be turning over his crown to the next queen.
And then Sunday see Gonzo & Jessica over at Jame's place the day after their wedding. Im so happy for them! :)
Might even go see Matrix with them that night.