I had a gynecologist appt yesterday.
On the way there, I was having abnormal cramping pains. So I toyed with the thought of what if I was pregnant, or what if I was having a miscarriage. I hesitate to say this publicly, but I thought I would be relieved if was having a miscarriage.
And no I'm not pregnant or miscarrying. My mind just wonders in odd places and I was on my way to the doctor anyway so it went there.
I don't want kids at this point in my life. I wanted them 5 years ago or earlier, but not now.
I feel a little bad like it's insulting to my mom and mom-in-law. Thankfully my sister and sister-in-law have provided grandkids, so it's not like I am totally depriving them. I'd have a lot more guilt then.
I'm gonna be 34 soon, and Brad is a bit older than me. I look forward to retiring, to retiring early if possible. I want to travel with Brad. We have so many things we get excited about and look forward to: getting a boat, having a farm with animals, having dogs, having an RV and going on road trips. Kids at this point would change all that for us.

About 4 years ago, I was having pains and felt like my ovaries were exploding. So while I was in for my appt, she had me go do an ultrasound to check on the fibroid/cyst to just keep an eye on it and see if it is going away, the same or worse.