Doing better now, so I will post.
Saturday I was kind of a mess. Eyes leaking on and off all day.
Nothing is really that terrible, but I just felt overwhelmed with mental lists, and that chip just went to overload. One bad day, helped get it out of my system for the most part. I kicked it in and have been doing all the stuff I need to do for work and for myself.

I want to be more social, even though sometimes it's a real effort for me. I have been contacting neighborhood homeowners people and finding about local clubs and groups. Of course I just want to email them to get information but since this is truly a social thing I have been given their phone numbers and have been calling people. I want to know more local people, people to hang out with, get my mind off of things, hang out at their place, grill with them all that shit. So I called a person about joining a book club, another for bunco, another for a gourmet (eating) club and even talked to the president of the homeowners group about joining the membership stuff, getting involved in he meetings and random get togethers.

Tuesday, after Brad got off work, we went to his boss's place for a get together with other work people. One guy brought his stuff and brewed beer, we had some beer tastings, and ate brats, cabbage and other german food to go with the beer. Of course I had the most fun with his boss's 2 little girls, WE HAVE THE SAME TASTE IN SHOES!! :) And of course Pete the Dog was there.

I am reading Horsemen of the Esophagus: Competitive Eating and the Big Fat American Dream - Jason Fagone. Shishie recommended it, she is reading it too.
Next in line to read is Twenty Questions - Alison Clement. I read her first book and really loved it.
She just started a blog, want to keep an eye out for any book tour info.

I have been looking for work as a full-time job.
Posted my resume on Dice & Monster, applied to jobs online. Talking with as many as 10 recruiters a day, and sometimes one might call me 10 times that day with more questions, bullet points and such. Then there are the back and forth emails with recruiters. I have currently about 10 leads. Some good, a few I think over my head. Most in the loop! (yay) Already have done a few phone screenings with different HR's, and getting tech interviews scheduled. I have been doing lots of study work. Studying up for interview questions, even for the dreaded "What motivates you?" "How do you handle stress" kind of questions, as well as the possible logical manhole kind of questions they may throw at me. Then I have been studying up on my unix, how to explain differences between things, and how which process is better than the other. Printing out all this for me to study. Printing out job descriptions, so I can hit all the needed bullet-points they are wanting covered. Turns out unix-wise there was a lot more I knew then I thought I did. A lot of software and tools I had actually used but just didn't know the name of, it was just something I pointed a clicked on and ran a few things on.

We have scheduled a family visit trip coming up. Spending a few days with Brad's family and then a few days with my family. Brad hasn't had any time off in awhile and really hasn't spent much time with family.

I was overwhelmed yesterday morning, head swimming with unix studies, things to research and my list of people to call, and recruiters. But by the afternoon I finally got a little breathing room to myself. Mowed the lawn and watered the flowers. Not tied to the phone or emails, and just being outside. That helped a lot. I was still exhausted, but less tense. Had therapy yesterday afternoon, told him about it all. He is such a sweet man. He was pissed when I told him about being let go again from another job and the situation. And then made me eat a blueberry bar with him.

Brad and I went out to dinner to Loco Burrito and then came home and watched Into The Arms of Strangers.

I am working on calling some of you back now. I need to call Helen, Jason and Brent. Brent you just have so much going on right now too, I felt even though I talked to you on the phone a couple of days ago I cut it short and need to talk to you a little longer. Helen and Jason left me sweet little phone messages, now that I have a little more breathing room from the phone after the non-stop calls with recruiters I think I can call and catch up.