I popped in my boss's office yesterday to find out what is happening with my job here.
When I started the expectation was that it was a contract to hire position. The recruiters were told is was a 6 month contract. When I started I was told it was an 8 week contract and then they would either hire us or as a last resort extend the contract. They needed us, it was just sorting out which budget it came from.

So I was totally floored yesterday when I was told my last day would be on the 20th on this month, next Friday. It took a few minutes to register, I didn't even think that was an option. They told me how good I have been doing, I have been working and trying really hard, and trying to fit in to the group and my new surroundings. Lost sleep worrying about work stuff, stayed late often to finish up work, came in on weekends. Came to work even though I have been run down sick.

I feel screwed, stupid and used. A sap, a dupe.
Brad is convinced that it was never really a contract to hire, they just said that to get people in to get their group back on track since they were so bogged down. I don't know what to think. It's cynical, but usually correct.

Yes, I was making more money here than collecting unemployment...but that didn't help me sleep last night.

I feel stupid for trying so hard, taking it as seriously as I did, when none of it really mattered or made a difference in the grand scheme of things.

So I was numb when she told me and just shrugged and said ok. Sat at my desk letting it sink in.
Then I called Brad to tell him and I lost it on the phone. I just don't want to look for a job anymore. I don't want to have to interview all over again. I was just starting to settle in. He felt so bad because I was so upset.

I stayed late at work last night, because the oracle part of a windows upgrade got messed up and I had to start the whole 1 day project all over again. I got home at 8. Went to bed early and read, read a lot of my book. Then laid there for a few hours, then got the laptop and surfed and then played mah jong for a few hours till I thought I could go to sleep.

Got up late today, showered, un-did the bed, and started washing all the sheets. Left home at the normal time I usually get to work. Because what did it matter? I had been getting to work around 8:30 or earlier when most people dont come in until after 9 or 9:30. So I took my time. Got in after nine and started my next 3 day project for the end of this week.

Yesterday when I found out, I started up on things right away. Let the recruiters know, put my resume back out on DICE, updated my resume and info and already have a couple leads and my name out there with a couple companies to consider. We'll see.

I told the guy that I go out to lunch with this morning. We are going to the Regal Beagle tomorrow for lunch, and he gave me a backrub. He has always been so nice to me.

Starbucks mafiosi here I come!