I didn't get the original job.
They said they liked me but I wasn't at the higher level they were looking for. But then they added, they really liked me and if they filled the position in a week or two they would still be interested in me to work with that person. See the main admin guy told me he trained a few people for a few months and then they all left. So they wanted someone that could go in running, and that isn't me.
But nice of them to say they liked me and were still interested in that way.

I had another interview with a different recruiter this morning.
First, it was nice that the recruiter and her boss were both women, second, it was nice they didn't sound like bad DJ's. Most of the recruiters that call me sound like bad DJ's/used car salesmen. It's really annoying. I think they tell them all to sound that way. I told the girl that today and she told me to tell her boss that cause they kept telling her they couldn't hear her excitement on the phone. Anyway, turns out the recruiter today said she really likes me and her boss really likes me, they are gonna pass me on to this really cool company I would be totally be psyched to work for. Then they said if I don't get it, they are sure they can find me a job because just about all of their clients don't have any women working unix for them, and it doesn't hurt that I'm really cute. They were women, so they could say this. I think some of the male recruiters I talked to thought the same but would sound much more out of line coming from them. (I think this is why I feel like such a phony ***see a few paragraphs down***)

This morning on the train to go to my interview I stuck a note in a guys pocket. He was standing to get off the train. I opened my book and wrote a note while the asian woman standing behind him leaned forward a little to see what I was writing and then watched me stick it in his front pants pocket. It said "You play your music too loud." Folded up really nice.

Went to Starbucks, got my coffee, spent a little time with Katerina and said "hi" to some other people from my old work. Went and bought a book for Brad that I decided I wanted to get him called "Spanking the Donkey". I saw the author on Daily Show a few nights ago and sounded really good. Gave it to him tonight. Picked up an Esquire to read an article Steve Elliott wrote about Jimmy Wallet, a guy who lost his family in a landslide.

Went to my trusty W Hotel to have a breakdown and had my imaginary friend Vince Vaughn talk me down. It nice and dark, with music and cold in there. I got sick an hour before my interview which wore me out and then I just started getting really worked up and talking to myself about what a loser I am, and who the hell did I think I was fooling. Interviews really brings out my low self esteem, for as full of myself as I can be at times, my self worth is really low. I always feel I lucked into all the jobs I had and my salaries, I'm lucky to have my husband, I am lucky to have any friends, I don't think I am a good friend, and same goes for my family. I should be better. Better to other people, a better worker, smarter, etc. I feel like I con my way into things, like I am the worlds biggest bullshitter, and people are just stupid enough to buy into my shit...and there just happen to be a lot of stupid people out there.

But...as my imaginary friend, Vince Vaughn pointed out. I really haven't lied about my qualifications. I actually am honest, cause they could easily ask me details on anything I say. I don't sell myself as some Unix guru. But I know enough to get by, I can do the job, I'm just not some idiot savant at it. I just feel like I am being phony and bullshitting, but it's really not true. I can do all the things I put down on my resume. Vince and I even posed for some pictures on the way to my interview. At one area I was on some steps behind him and stuck his head underneath my dress for a pose. We are quite the pair!

But I did the interview, they really liked me and will help me find a job. I did it, it's done for the day. As a treat..I went to Cereality across the street from the interview place. I saw it on my way there, and used it as something to look forward to when it was over. It's a new place and I like cereal. I got a mix of Apple Jacks, Frosted Flakes and graham bits to eat on. I took off my shoes and curled up on their sofa watching Nicktoons. It was nice. Then I met up with Katerina during her lunch break and we got pedicures. My polish was starting to chip, I was ready for one, and it was a nice treat. I like treats....

Walked through a farmers market. Same old stuff, so I passed and went to Union Station to take the train home. Came home and went back to bed and told Brad in greater detail about my day. Then had some dinner at Burger King and then he went to work. This is an unusual week, he is working nights, ending tomorrow morning when he comes home. So I zoned and watched Big Brother 6 on TV.